Oh I wish I’d looked after me car...
And seen all those oil spots beneath
She looked so beautiful from afar
I ‘ad no idea she was about to be’queath

I’d been unable t’ change gear
how did I know that the big ends, in arf a mo
while all was a’grindin in my ear
were all of a tatt’a, and about ta go

the clutch - well thats a sort’a mill
it were never a problem ‘twixt gears ‘n  mota ya’know
‘cept for some smoke that came on the ‘ill.
and I ignored ‘er while I didn’t think she’d blow

I used to get er up aroun the ton on the down ‘ill run
The tyres all beuti’ful an smoov and shiny
did look like a baby’s bum
no wonder me costs were so tiny..

When the cop I saw take his radar and point it
I jabbed at me brakes in a flash
It din half make me all stiff joint’it
jus’ like before you hear a big crash

to no avail me car had forgot how ta stop
so I decided to step on the gas
in the hope of outrunnin the cop
I thought I would giv it a bash

Then came a loud bang and me car stopped for sure
worse was ta come when I opened the bonnet
an ‘orrible sight was it I saw
the piston was pokin from mota-block, wan it!

it was indescribable, not to mention the shock!
when he unexpectedly, on me windscreen 
stuck a red sticka on it din ‘e the cock!
so the moral is beware of p’leece unseen

Oh I wish I’d looked after me car..
and got all them services that matt’a
New oil and polish and water ta
would av made a difference by far

I must admit I did try ta fool ‘er
and I tried not to notice her rust
and get away wif’out checkin the cooler
till me seat I could’nt no more trust

it shifted about on the roundabout 
its a miracle I never lost control
as all them funny bolts fell out!
cor blimey that were a telegraph pole

A service to ‘er  t’would have been
like incense and honee!
Now I’ve lost the light ‘o me life, my dream
Oh why did I try to save the munee... 
J.  Flynn  1997 (apologies to Pam Ayers)

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Dr John Flynn publishes a monthly HTML ezine called:
"The Xerostar Times" and his motto is:
"caring for creative people"
You can subscribe at: 
http://www.xerotron.com/cgi-bin/mail/mail.cgi
The free eBook "The Xerotron Story" is available at:
http://midi-ebooks.com  mailto: xerostar@iinet.net.au

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